Konoha, Loriendell: My home away from home!

Week 4 going to week 5.. lol

2008-10-19T15:42:00.002+08:00

I must say, that this has ben the first time that I've gotten bored enough to actually come back to blogging again.

I don't know if this is a good sign or not, but maybe its justthat i want to write down something so that i can just get things off my mind.

Yesterday, I just came back from camp and stuff... Was a hectic week where we had like 2 trips into heavily wooded places to look for some obsure locations... [I know. sounds really confusing.] Then we had fun running towards walls and up logs of wood.... [[LOL.. The way i describe it makes it sound less painful. I know..]]

On thursday night, I had a little surprise from my section mates, whom said that i was given a chance to lead the whole platoon. I shall not put the name of the appoinment here, lest i get myself in trouble.

Anyways, thus i spent the whole of friday having to lead the whole group of them, and hoping to get them to work with me.. Well, fortunately for me, they were all very cooperative [to a large extent]... There were some small mistakes which I did, but for a large part, I have learnt from them....

Well.. So much for Friday....

Yesterday, I had to stay back in camp for training... ah well..
After that, I came back home to get some stuff done.. As i had screwed up my handphone, my parents decided that I should go out and meet them.. And at the same time we could have lunch together.

I had some stuff to do, so i just had to get my stuff packed, then left to meet my parents.
We had a meal together, along with some of my parents colleagues, then I had to meet my friend, thus I just took off after the wonderful lunch.

Basically, once we met up, we played a few games of MTG.. Lol. He had this what i would term as "fail deck" in which there was not a single creature in it. Just either instants or sorceries. I just used my overrun deck, and poof. nothing happened.

As for right now, Im just like sitting down in front of my laptop, trying to recall back what has been going on for the past week, and hoping that I would just be able to get my thoughts off my mind...

However, for as long as I have known myself, I never had been able to actually still myself before. Perhaps I should start to learn to still myself. I really should.

Peace out.
Alvin

NS Times-- Posting Results

2008-09-19T21:17:00.002+08:00

Lol. This has got to be the first post I've had in since... forever.

Well, I'll keep it short. I've found out my posting today outside, and let's just say that i really wished that i didnt have to go to see it.

Ah well, I've had no choice but to go and see it. I have to know where to report, since after all, it's the army...

Thus, without further ado, here is my posting:

Posting result: SISPEC.

Yes. SISPEC. I feel like amazed and surprised, to say the least.

Frankly, I didn't do well in BMTC at all, as in like, I only scraped through everything, barely passing most of the things, and well...

The worst was, I never passed SOC before. Ever. I never ever passed SOC before. It's just the most amazing thing ever that I would even be considered to go in. I hate SOC.

Ah well.... SISPEC.
All the best for me, that's what they say. All the best...

I hope that everything can go well.

I must say tho, one thing that I've realised. is that there are all kinds of people in the society out there...

I'm going in with a positive attitude as best as possible.

Ok. Peace out.

Atreticus -2137 190908

A day of meeting up and relaxing.

2008-05-24T22:37:00.002+08:00

To start this post, I'll just need to give some background...
Last night, when I reached home, my father told me that I had to stay at home to take care of my grandmother and aunt..

The reason? They were going to leave for a meeting overseas for the weekends, and thus, needed me to stay at home to take care of my grandmother..
I was a bit shocked, but then accepted it quickly, as i knew it was their job and stuff..

In the meantime, I actually had already made plans to meet up with another friend of mine, who's currently in the Army... [Long story]

Anyways, after hearing the news, I called him, and he told me that he would be able to change plans and thus... He decided to come to my house to meet me...

So, this starts the main gist of this post....

This morning, I woke up at about 9 plus to get ready and stuff, and at around 10, I got a msg from him saying that he would be late. So, I just went and like got some stuff to eat...

At 10:45 plus, he reached my house, and I welcomed him in...

He came in, and we first had like a short chat in my living room, before we got to my very messy room... We sat on my bed, and I told him about my concerns about enlisting and stuff, my worries and all that, and he in turn, told me about some of his experiences...

Also, of course, he brought his MTG decks out, and we had some time to play test his black control deck, and blue Whizzie decks.. [[LOL Whizzie deck LOL]]

So, then, after a while, he also took some time to show me how to play Generals properly... as I had it like installed in my laptop... It was exremely fun to see how it actually worked, and I learnt and interesting thing known as kiting... LOL

After quite a while of talking and playing, I was feeling a bit hungry, and lucky for me, my Aunt arrived at about 1pm plus... So I was able to leave home with my friend to eat...

So, we just left my home, and headed towards this Coronation Plaza to withdraw some cash...Following that, we went over to the nearby Thai noodles restaurant, and I tried a dish called Pad Thai... It's quite nice...With it's sauce, and the peanut powder at the side.. I reccommend it...

After the meal, we went over to another shopping centre in the area, and we went over to a card shop there to get some cards... MTG, as usual.

We both got a M.Tide, and S.Moor booster each [[Tho I freaking felt that maybe I should have not gotten like both...lol... nvm about that...]]

So, after another while of dilly-dallying, I decided that perhaps I should like start making my way to work, as it was already about 3 plus. [I start work at 530pm.]

After a bit of discussion, I just sort of decided to take 961 with him, so we could like have more time to talk about stuff...

I would love to try and elaborate about what we talked about.. But it seems like I'm a bit tight for time... So I guess I would tell the next part some other time then.. Maybe tomorrow...

[[PS: I'm again at the cybercafe, and due to the fact that I need to go back to take care of Grandma, I need to leave now... And today would probably be about 22 or 21 days before I have to get Enlisted...Sigh.. I really need to start going back to the gym again...]]

Okies... Hope that all of you would be able to have a good night...
And well, I guess I do feel better now today, after having had the chance to talk to my friend, and to learn quite a bit about how it is like in NS....

Hopefully I would be able to cope as well as my friend said I would... ah well... Good night...

Atreticus aka Alvin signing out.

[[end at 23:18 GMT +0800]]

A long missing post.... Should have posted...LOL

2008-05-23T23:05:00.002+08:00

It's been a whole week since I last posted anything,
So today I've got a lot to update about....

Monday---Went over to my aunt's house for the Vesak Day Holidays and stuff...
Told them about lots of things, they told me quite a bit about their neighbour's grandson, and some of his experiences.. For he was already in NS...

Tuesday --Nothing much happened... At least nothing significant

Wed-- Got to finish work early, so I went over to Esplanade to borrow some books, then went over to the nearby shopping centre and got my gym stuff ready...

Yesterday.... Morning went over to my friend's home area of Boon Lay to swim with him at the swimming pool, dropped my pool locker key in the pool without me knowing, spent like half an hour searching for it... Then took a bus to the MRT station, and took a train towards my work place, but then... on the long journey, slowly drifted off to dreamland and overslept my stop all the way to tanah merah...
Had to like backtrack all the way back to City Hall and ended up being freaking late.. I won't say how long...

Today-- Overslept due to some unforseen circumstances, and was like late-- again... I got so screwed up by my managers.. They scolded me like mad... Then they warned me that if I was late again, they would just terminate my contract like right there and then....
----Dots... I hate my own freaking time management skills and stuff...

Look at me.. I mean I'm like one week away from leaving my job, that I should at least give my superiors a good impression of me!! What the heck am I doing???

I really need to do something about myself... I cannot just allow this kind of thing to go on...

Just a small note--- I'm about 22 days from the day I enlist... I need to get my act together...

PS: If anyone wishes to give me any advice, please give them to me asap... I really hope to have some feedback from all of you...

For the inquisitive-- Where am I now?
I'm at a cybercafe right beside a bus stop at City Hall mrt.... So... yea...
It's going to close soon, so I'm just trying to hurry up with my post...

Just one more thing--- I hope that everything will turn out ok.. I'm really like losing hope day by day... I almost feel like every day that passes is making me feel that much less confident with myself...

Sigh... I pray that everything will be ok...

God Bless us all...

Alvin aka Atreticus, signing out...

Aunt's House... Lotsa stuff

2008-05-19T20:29:00.003+08:00

Ok... Today is the 19th, and well, it's been quite a while since I last went over to her house...

And right now, I'm supposed to be freaking keeping my stuff..

Will try to post more in the future...

[[This post was last writted on the 19th May...]]

A short post...

2008-05-16T23:36:00.002+08:00

I'm right now like outside, at another starbucks just using wireless...

The reason why I'm here is just that I've just met some friends of friends... Long story on that...

Anyways, I'm just like hoping to enjoy myself as much as possible...

I've just finished watching a movie --- "Speed Racer"...

This has got to be like one of the last few times that I can actually have the time to stay and do stuff...

Ok.. I have a feeling that I'm going to miss a bus soon....

I don't know when the last bus is... Ooops....

Day 3: After the news....

2008-05-15T23:00:00.001+08:00

Last night, as I got home, I told my father about the news that I had found out from the NS websie, he just tolld me that there was nothing to be afraid about...

I was like thinking-- "Ok.. right..."Then I just went up into my room to do my usual stuff...

Fast forward to this afternoon, as I got to work...
As I got there, it still seems as though I'm still in like denial or something...

Right now, it still seems like a shock. Sincerely...

Speaking of yesterday... I went to work, as per normal, and informed my boss about me going into NS.

I told him everything about it, and that day, I had also gotten myself ready to go to gym.. As I had decided to go to gym, and i was working in the morning shift, thus enabling me to have the time to go too...

After knowing about it, he told me that I could resign 2 weeks before my enlistment, which was 31st May, so that I should be able to have ample time to prepare and all that...

As of right now, I still can't seem to think much about anything else...

After work, I went to the nearby bookstore to look at some information about preparing to go in, and ended up not being able to find out much about it... Thus, at around 7 to 8 o'clock, I went over to the gym, and did about an hour's running, before heading home...

Right now, I'm typing as fast as I can, as the cybercafe I'm in is about to close... I'd probably have to pay about 3$ but I don't really care if I can just have the chance to have some contact with the outside world...

As of now, I'm just hoping to be able to treasure whatever civilian time I have left, and to do whatever I can do to preserve it in writing or something...

I have so much to say, but I guess I have to leave it to some other time...

God Bless, and good night...
Atreticus aka Alvin.

I'm going in....--.--

2008-05-13T19:07:00.006+08:00

Ok. I'm still in shock. I know I shouldn't be in shock, but I am.

The long and short of this, is that I'm going to be in Army in a months time.

The date? 14th June this year.

How did I find out? I've just gone to the NS site to check out the information regarding my enlistment....

Hrm.. Now about the shock part. Why am I in shock?
Many people would probably have presumed that I had recieved the letter a long time ago.

The answer is, No. I didn't recieve any freaking letter for the past 2 months. I had no idea that I was going to go in at June. If I didn't recieve the letter, I'd probably have died or something as the day approached without me realising.

What am I to say now?
Frankly speaking, the emotions I'm feeling now are nothing like those that I've felt when I've just recieved the news about me being removed from SP.

This time, it's much worse than that. Much much worse.
Imagine dropping down a pit with a 50kg stone tied to both your hands and legs. Then imagine that the pit is filled with quicksand.

Yep.

That's how I feel now. Just beind helpless as you get sucked into some vortex of sinking fear in which you know that you cannot escape from because nothing you do will change it.

Well, there's only one thing that I can think of doing right now. Although that would require me to use up every inch of time I have left to doing, it seems to be the only course of action I can take as of this moment...

The only thing I can do right now, is to just--------
Freaking train myself up. Go to whatever gym or anything that you can find, and just go there for every remaining day of this month to train.

Thats all that I can think of about posting.

I have no idea what else I can do right now. I feel so suffocated an knocked back by this news that I don't even know how else I can tell my parents about it.
Or anyone.

For some of you who still have no idea what I'm talking about despite reading all the way down to this line...

Let's just put it simply..

I will be enlisted into the military on 14th of June this Year, and I have just discovered it today, whilst checking my inbox about news and other information. I just had the sense of mind to actually go to the Enlistments website today..

I just have one question in my mind right now.

Why have I not recieved the letter informing me about the enlistment? Why did I have to not find the letter at all? Where did the letter go? Did someone take the letter from the letterbox and conviniently not informed me about it? Did someone just take it away from me without letting me know at all?

Ok. That's like 5 questions, but I do not care. That's not the point.

The long and short of it is this---
I have only one course of action that I can do, and I HAVE TO follow through it. Whatever it takes.

My whole being is just being suffocated by this news. I can no longer think properly.
Just reeling from the shock is taking my whole concentration.

Alvin finishing off.
Time-- 19:48 , 13th May 2008, Tuesday. [GMT +0800]

The day the truth came..

2007-10-03T23:35:00.000+08:00

Before I start digressing again, I have something I have to say.
Below is what I had wrote on my laptop on the 29th September, on WORD Document.

"29 September 2007 2:59 PM

This has to be the most difficult piece of writing that I’ve wrote for quite a while.

To everyone who has been concerned about me, and praying for my appeal outcome, I bring bad news.

On 27^th Sept, I had fallen ill in the morning and had a serious headache. Then, my condition worsened so much such that I had vomited twice. I had just recovered from the flu, and that morning was already at school.
Thus, my aunt, and her friend’s son brought me to the clinic nearby my aunt’s house. Once there, the doctor gave me an injection for my splitting headache, and then prescribed me some meds for my inflamed throat and some painkillers.
After the injection, I felt better and so walked back home with my aunt. Once home, I stayed and rested there.

Shortly after I had arrived home, my Aunty connie received a call from my father, and I overheard a large extent of it, and this was when I heard the bad news.

"My father had just received a letter from the school, telling him that my appeal has been
unsuccessful. The school had decided this after much thought and discussion.”
What this essentially means, is that I am no longer able to study in Singapore Polytechnic anymore.

When I had heard about this, my first reaction was not anger, but sadness.
The first thing I said was, “Father, Father, Why have you forsaken me?”
I was essentially quoting what Jesus had said when he was nailed on the cross.

3:16 PM
I’m reaching Woodlands interchange right now, so I ought to be beginning to pack my stuff.
This has indeed been bad news. I hope everything is ok."

Above, was what I had typed down, while I was on my way to church. last saturday, 29th Sept.
What do I think about all that?

Once in church, I first went up to meet up with my CG[Care Group], and have CG time with them. We were having combined CG time with another CG, so there were quite a lot of people in the room.

Anyways, after CG, I had to update my CG members about what was the outcome of my appeal. At that time, I didn't show them the above entry, as they didn't have the time.
Thus, I told them all that had happened, and what I had thought about doing, which was to go into the army and get enlisted.
That was when they told me that, there is another way.
What I could do, is this-- Find a private institution that is able to provide me with a letter of deferment, so I don't have to get enlisted.

But here's the thing: In order for me to get a private institution, the first thing I must do is to find out my interests! What is it that I really want to do!

Here is where lies my biggest problem now.

I really, sincerely don't know what I am interested in, because I have too many interests!

On the one hand, I like to sing, and music has always been something that has held my interests.
Then, there's acting and drama.

Since young, I had attended speech and drama lessons. Thus, I had always been able trained to act, and learn to express myself in front of people. It had also sort of developed me to be not afraid to sing, or perform in front of people. Thus, it has always been a section of interest in my life. I had even been able to be in the acting troupe, and had even acted in Victoria Theatre before for a preformance.
Thus, the only thing is that, for the past two years, I had been too busy in my studies, and had not had much time in going to the acting troupe anymore.

There's still other stuff, like for instance, reading manga, and watching anime.
But I guess they can just be considered pasttimes.

There's still crochet, [something like knitting], which I had picked up at the end of last year. It is something that I really enjoy, and until quite recently, was still doing. The thing about crochet is that, it is something that requires a lot of patience, and concentration, and that is probably one of the reasons why I like it.
Also, there is a sense of achievement whenever I look back at my finished products and say, "I've done it. These are my creations." I don't know. Perhaps this is really what I want to do.
The thing is, is it something that I can make a living out of? Will I be able to survive just by doing it?

I guess, the most important thing is-- It's not just about whether I'm interested into something or not, but also whether realistically, is it really something that can provide me with a livelihood?

I should end now. It's almost time for me to rest.
Maybe the next time I type, I can continue to discuss about the many interests I have.
Goodnight.

Untitled.

2007-10-03T22:48:00.000+08:00

There is so much that has happened over all this time.

There is just so much that has happened.

Today is 3rd October. [yea duh.]
Woke up at home, [I'm finally back home] and went down to eat breakfast and stuff.
At around 12, I went out with mother and Grandmother to the nearby Shopping center, first to do some banking stuff, then went to the foodcourt to eat lunch.

After lunch, We went down to the basement supermarket to do some grocery shopping.
While mum and gran were getting the groceries, I went up to the foodcourt to buy some lunch for dad, and my mentally disabled aunt. [Mum's younger sister.]

When I came down, they were done grocery shopping, so I helped them push the trolley while they went to the taxi stop. Then we took a taxi home.

Yea, that's just what happened in the beginning of the day and all that stuff.
But for now, I'd just like to leave it there.

There is so much in my mind. So much that has happened ever since that day.
Since the last time I posted on the blog.
Sometimes I'm just thinking to myself what I've been doing all this time.
I mean, I know what I'm doing, but it's just, I seem to just pass the day,"snap", just like that.

Last week, I was ill, at my aunt's home.
It all started from when I first had a cold.
It was when I had first started to sniff, and sneeze, and stuff like that.
Basically, the flu.
I had the flu for two days, from tuesday to wednesday.
Monday, of that week was still ok, nothing much had happened. School had just started for most of my friends, but as for me, that was another story.

See what I mean, when I say that there is a lot of stuff in my mind?
Because of that, I'm like constantly just going from one thing to another, and as long as I'm alive, this kind of thing will continue on and on.
Just like what the French Mathematician had said, "I think, therefore, I am."
As long as I live, I will think, and there will always be something that will gain my attention, and I will be attracted to it, and fail.
Why will I fail? Because I have failed before.

Enough of that kind of thinking. Pessimism won't get me anywhere. Really.
When you don't know what to do, get help! Don't just sit there whole day, with your stupid sudoku things beside your bad, and your whole life messed up around you!
What is wrong with you? What is wrong with me?

Here's what is wrong: I've just been a selfish, self centred, compulsive person. I'm also a coward, and a hypocrite.
That is why I am here right now, writing all this down.

I shall stop here, and now dedicate another post for what had happened on 27th Sept.

A small encouragement

2007-09-21T10:33:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, shortly after my previous blog post, I met up with my A&P Chem teacher, who told me that, part of the reason why I had yet to recieve a reply was that the Director had not had a meeting with my lecturers yet.
Anyways, he told me not to worry, that whatever the outcome may be, I just have to accept it and move on. If I have to go get enlisted, than all I can do is to just train up my body, so that I would be better prepared to go on for the trainings.

Then, this morning, while I was on my way, doing deliveries for the school bakery, I met up with my form teacher, with whom i told her my worries that the School might not be able to contact me about my status. So, what she told me was that: #1- I should first update my parents particulars, so that if the school wants to contact my parents, they would be able to do so.
[In my case, that would be my father, as my mother's now overseas for business stuff.]

#2- I can just walk up to school and find out from them, about how my status is, and whether it is confirmed.

Ok. I have to go down over to my school to check for my status now.

Continue to pray for my appeal outcome, and I pray that everything will turn out ok.

Amen.

Alvin.

short update..

2007-09-20T11:03:00.000+08:00

As im in school right now and have the chance to use the com for a while more, I'll just have to update you all as to my current situation.

17thSept --I went to talk to my School Courses counsellor as i wanted to enquire whether it is possible for me to transfer to another course due to my results and all that.
As it turns out, the only way for me to transfer is for me to first get reinstated. That's why on that day itself he asked me to start to write an appeals letter, in order for me to get reinstated.

So, I spent the rest of the evening from 7pm to almost 1 am writing and rewriting the letter.
Fortunately, I managed to get the letter out before I went to school the next morning.

Thus, on the morning of 18th Sept, I sent my Appeals letter to the Examinations board, so that they can send it to my School for review.
Somehow, I feel that my chances this time are much lesser due to the fact that this is my 2nd chance appealing to continue on in my course.

Anyways, I'm right now just praying that everything will go well for my Appeal to continue on to study. I really really hope to be reinstated.

I have to go back to work now.
Hope everything goes well.

Alvin.

Distraught and Disappointments...

2007-09-12T12:18:00.000+08:00

I've been expelled from school.
Ok. I've just seen my results, and frankly speaking, I'm still reeling from the effects.

Goodness, I don't know how to continue to write.
This is just the worst thing to happen to me. Really.

Just when I thought that, as I had tried to do well for my AP.Chem, 2 other subjects come back to haunt me.

And now, It's the worst case scenario.
I've been expelled.

This has been a big blow to me. I've disappointed everyone around me. and I mean everyone.
Why did this happen?
Why did the same thing repeat?

It didn't.

All I can do now, is to try to reflect on everything that has happened, that could have led to this...

#1--IDEAs....
My first few classes went on quite okay, Then, everything started to spiral downwards when I was sent to an all girls team. I felt uncomfortable with them right from the start.
When we were doing the market research, we didn't do it well.
When it came down to doing the first presentation, we didn't do enough preparation.
When we were preparing for the 2nd presentation, I was having my drama rehearsals, and that I couldn't make it for the final preparations on the eve of the final presentation.. Thus, I screwed up my 2nd presentation.
Then, when I heard of news that the teacher wanted to see me, I didn't go to see him, for fear of being criticised... This went on for at least another 2 to 3 weeks.

#2--RWP....
As with the previous subject, my first few classes went well. Then, once, I didn't go for one of the lessons, which happened to be a test, because I felt that I wasn't well prepared for it.
Then, from then on, I just went to one or two of the lessons, and didn't go from then on.
Thus, once again, I missed quite a few lessons.

As of right now, I'm supposed to be going to see my Aunt, who is waiting for me at the library stall, and I don't know how I'm supposed to face them. Any of them.

What should I do now? What am I to do?
What would I do?
I have no answer to any of these questions. None of them.

I am lost.

How do I feel now? Overwhelmed by a whole barrage of emotions.
Sadness, Disappointment, Distraught, Regret, Frustration, Angry....

It's more like, just a feeling of Depression, and gloom.
I don't know what else to say.

There's just nothing that I know I can do.
This must seem like a suicidal person, and, as of now, I don't know.

I'm sorry to everyone who has cared for me. I'm really sorry. This should not have happened, but it has. I just hope to tell all my loved ones that I love them, but it's just that I can't be this person anymore.
I feel that I have let down so many people.
There are so many things that I have yet to do, but, it seems like I might not have the chance to do any of them anymore.
Please don't feel that all this were caused by any of you. It isn't. It's all caused by me.

I've been too undisciplined. And this is why all this has happened.

I wish you all well. I willl Rest well.

Yours Sincerely, Alvin.

Recap and Recollections...

2007-09-10T20:53:00.000+08:00

When I first came online, I was quite surprised by the fact, that the last time I updated this was in April..

This means that a lot, and I do mean a LOT has happened in the past few months.

The least I can do, is to try, to the best of my ability, to recap as much as I can.

#1]
During one of the rare occasions that I was on msn[[few months ago]], I talked to one of the cosplayers that I had added to my messenger... His name was Jason, [[not the Crusader]]. We chatted online, and soon, I found out he was around my age, and we seemed to have similar interests.

Very soon, we decided on meeting up the next week, and he met up with me at an mrt.
He told me that he was going to show me his office where he was working, so I was interested to see his workplace too.

Initially, I thought it was just a casual visit and chat, then dinner. But little did know that he was actually working for an MLM [Multi-Level Marketing company]. Disclaimer: I am not against MLMs.

When I went into his office, and found out it was a MLM, I was just surprised. I didn't expect at all to have a friend who was working in an MLM. I attended the orientation talk, [which is just a presentation about what the company is about and stuff...] Then Jason brought over his "Superior", and came to talk to me and another girl about the company.

To cut a [very] long story short, at the end of all that, I sincerely didn't feel that it was time for me to find a job when I can't even juggle my subjects well. In a messenger conversation I had with my friend later, I told him what I felt, and he left it as it was.

[[This was the first incident that could pop in my mind, so I just typed it down. ]]

#2]
I'm now going to fast forward through a lot of events now, so bear with me, and I'm sorry if I missed any significant events. I should have blogged more often, but I just.. hadn't had the drive to write anything throughout this whole period. I hope that this post would make up for the extremely long absence that I've had.

Now to the significant event in this whole period, which I feel is important to put down on record so that I can from now on, always look on this event and never let it happen again.

PS: I think it would do this event more justice if I devoted a whole post to itself, so I shall end this post here, and devote the whole of the next post to this event.

Thank you for reading thus far.
In God's Grace,
Alvin.

Alleluia!!

2007-04-07T00:25:00.000+08:00

Start:: Saturday, 7th April 2007, 0027 [+0800GMT]

Good Friday has just passed, and now, we're into Easter's Eve.

Good Friday is to commemorate the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.

As it so happens, today is also the day where I have finally managed to regain contact with the wider Internet Network, and also with the wider blogosphere.

This has to be the best thing that has happened.

Firstly, I am thankful that the Lord has allowed so many good things to have happened, such as:

Allowing me to be able to even have had to be able to appeal on the continuation of my course, and also for having been able to meet the dean of my polytechnic's Science department.

Given me the chance to be able to live in a place where we are able to freely proclaim our religious beliefs without fear of persercution.

Having also allowed me to join Campus Crusade in Christ, to help out in the Great Commission, and also to have given me this opportunity to be in fellowship with so many Christians in the Campus.

I also am thankful for having been able to start to attend the church services in WEFC. If only words could express how wonderful it feels to belong in a church.

As I think about all these wonderful things, perhaps I can also describe what had happened on this Good Friday that has just passed.

This morning, I woke up early so as to be able to attend the 10am service at WEFC. Having prepared most of my stuff beforehand, I just had to take the bus [961] to reach Woodlands. Upon reaching there, I took another bus [965] and got to WEFC.

We had Worship, and Holy Communion for Good Friday. Pastor Shern had us meditate upon the 7 Sayings from the Cross, in which he showed us how Jesus had been so loving, so obedient of His Father, Our God.

After worship, I met up with my CG, and chatted with them for a while. In the midst of this, I met up with my Aunt, who told me that she had recently heard about me owing some money to my friends. She told me that I should try to clear of whatever I my owe my friends ASAP, rather than waiting until I had gotten my other debts which others owed me.

After a while of chatting,We headed over to Causeway Point to have CG lunch. On the way to Causeway, I couldn't help but notice that one of my CG mates looked unwell. So, upon reaching Causeway's Food Court, I advised him that perhaps he should just go home after the outing to rest.

At the Food Court, I got some Korean Beef rice, and a cup of Iced Cappucino. Then, I settled down so that I could chat with my CGLs [CG Leaders] and CG mates. We had discussed about what we were going to do on Saturday, since we had no "official" activities.

I also took this opportunity to tell my CGLs about my discontinuation from my Course in SP, and also about my appeal applications and my interview with the Dean. [I'm not sure about their replies tho. Perhaps I couldn't really remember.]

As I had to meet the Crusaders at 1630 at Paya Lebar MRT, thus I had to leave Causeway and Woodlands early. Initially, my CG members had planned to go to the Cinema at Causeway to watch "Freedom Writers". As I had to go to the Crusade fellowship event, I couldn't join them. However, I feel that it wasn't really a pity, as I had gotten some good reviews regarding the show, and had read the synopsis of the show, so I felt I didn't have much to lose.

Thus, I headed on towards Paya Lebar MRT station. On the journey, I continued on with my crochet of the Skater Hat, and also contacted Khalis, [the Crusader that I think I had mentioned before] regarding details for the event. As I reached Paya Lebar, I was also almost done with the Hat.

The train had soon reached Paya Lebar, and as I passed the gantry, I saw Alex, Jason,Srini, Evangeline, together with one of the Freshmen. [ I'm so sorry I still cannot recall his name...]
I talked to them, and Evan. explained to me that they were still waiting for 3 more persons to arrive before leaving for Priscilla's house. [Priscilla is the staff from Crusade.]By that time, it was already 1641 when I reached Paya Lebar.

The first to arrive was Zheng Xiang, one of the Senior Crusaders. [He's currently serving in NS.]
The next person to arrive was a person that (interestingly) I had the greatest impression of.
After Zheng Xiang arrived, Evan. told me that she had just contacted Samuel, one of the Freshmen, and he was reaching Paya Lebar soon. So, we waited for him to come. She said he was a stop away, so when the next train left, we all just took notice of the people streaming down the escalators and through the gantry.

One thing that Evan. had mentioned to us before the train had arrived, was the fact that she had forgotten to ask Samuel what he was wearing. Thus, we had no idea as to how he would look like.

Just as I was glancing through the gantries, I just happened to see a youth who had a silver cross hanging down his necklace. On first sight, I had the instinctive feeling that he was the Freshmen that we were waiting for. Then, Evan tried to call Samuel's phone, but noticed that it was engaged. It was only when Alex asked the Youth whether he was Samuel, did I acutally get the confirmation that I was right.

The 3rd person to arrive, was Hai Kiat. He had just came from his Church, City Harvest. After Hai Kiat had arrived, we started on our way to Priscilla's home.

Upon arriving at Pris.' house, the first person we saw there was Wen Bing. [I also noticed the dog was running around behind her.] Priscilla then came to open the door through remote control. As we walked into her house, we noticed some people in her kitchen. So, I went over to get a better look. It turns out that Yong Jie was also there to help out in the preparations of the food for the fellowship that was happening. Khalis was there too, just as he had told me when I was talking over the phone with him.

After we had rested for a while, Jason had us each do a self introduction, before they then had played this game with one person's hands over another's. I didn't really join in the games as I had a stomach-ache, and had thus excused myself to go to the washroom.

When I came out of the washroom, I saw the Yong Jie, Khalis, and Wen Bing seemed to need help with their preparations. So I went over to see how I could help. Alex was also in the kitchen helping out. When I had seen them, they were cutting up the pizza for the Fellowship later.
Alex was like cutting the pieces into tiny tiny pieces, so Wen Bing and I were suggesting that he should cut the pizza into bigger chunks. After a while, I also noticed that alex was holding the knife with the blunt edge down, instead of the sharp edge down. I tried to explain to him, but he did not get what I meant instantly. It was only when he turned to go to wash the knife did he actually notice that he held it wrongly.

Priscilla's niece, Janice, was also running around the kitchen. As I was new to Pris' home, I had to ask Janice as to where things were put, so that I could better be able to get things done. I found out the location of the plates from Janice, then took the {tiny!} cut pieces of the 1st pizza onto the plate.

Priscilla had then taken out the 2nd pizza using mittens and put it on the cutting board. She said that it was hot. Wen Bing took it to mean that the pizza was hot, and used her [my goodness..] bare fingers [woah] to touch the HOT tray. She thus got one of her fingers burnt by the tray. I was there, so I quickly told her to put her finger under cold running water. Seeing what had happened to Wen Bing, Pris. took the tray away, then advised Wen Bing to take ice from the fridge. [I can only assume she didn't want to waste running water]. Thus, Wen Bing then took the ice out of the fridge, and put it directly on the wound. I felt what she did was a little silly, so told her that it might be better to use a towel to wrap around the ice, and use that to apply on the wound instead.

[My rationale behind that was that, as you hold the ice using bare hands, after a while, you would begin to feel some pain as the chill of the ice reaches your nerves and registers as pain. Therefore, my advice would have allowed there to be no DIRECT contact between the hand and the ice. ]

*Due to time contstraints, I can only write until here for now. I will continue on when I am more alert. Now, it's really getting late, and so I do appreciate some rest. Thanks. Good Night. (in this case would be 'Morning'. LOL)*

Nights ppl. God Bless.

End--0150 [+0800 GMT]

--7th March--

2007-03-07T23:06:00.000+08:00

Start: 7th March, 2307[+0800 GMT]

I recieved bad news.
Actually, this bad news, i found out in my inbox last night.

I have failed most of my modules.
Thus, I don't think I can continue to study any more.

After I recieved that message, I just didn't know how to reply.

Anyways, today, after I woke up for a while, I went over to school to ask some of my lecturers for help.

One of my lecturers suggested that I should write an appeal letter, so that I can continue studying.

At 6 plus, I left school, as I had to meet a friend of mine at JE train station.

Once we reached, the first thing we did was to go to the nearby library.

Well, ok, so I didn't tell my friend that we were going there, but still, I did have something I had to check at the library.

Once at the library, we sat down at the cafe beside it to cool down. I got a drink from the cafe, and also powered up my laptop. We sat there for a while, chatting about stuff, while I tried to connect to the internet.

When I could not connect to the internet, I called my mum, and she told me she could not help me.

Then, my friend told me that he wanted to go to the nearby shopping centre. Since I just wanted to have somewhere to walk around, I followed with his idea.

We did some window-shopping around the whole place, we sat down in a Macdonalds to eat.

While eating, I tried to connect to the local wireless network there.
Finally there was a network!!

When I got a network, I went to do what I had planned to do. While chatting with my friend, I went over to my email inbox, and forwarded my results to my aunt to inform her about how I did.

After the meal, my friend and I chatted for a while, then we went our separate ways.

I don't know how I'm going to break this news to the people closest to me. I really don't.
I'm afraid that they might just react negatively or something.

Hope all goes well.

Peace out,

Alvin.

Untitled

2007-03-05T01:25:00.000+08:00

Start: 0126am 5th Mar 2007 [+0800 GMT]

I've just had the worst arguement with my friend.
Goodness... I don't even know how I'm supposed to start..

It's just... I've just.. Broken my friendship tonight
Just like that. It was not a one night thing, but tonight was the last straw...
The last thing that finally snapped the rope.

N, If you're out there, I know you will never forgive me for this, but.. I'm sorry.
I know you said that there will be no more apologies, no more turning back of the clocks,
And that "Out of sight, Out of mind"...

Oh my goodness... What have I done. What have I done.... I've just fought with my best friend.
Why? because of a game.

Lately, I've been into this game, Maple Story, and that I've been playing it.
So, ok. This was not the first time i've played it, but It's been a while..

For all this while.. I can truly say this--- I've been blinded..

Blinded by what? The game. I've just been thinking about being on par with my friend, so that I can join in...

But you know what? I've been a selfish fool who just thinks about my own self gain. A fool who thinks that he can get whatever he wants... And get away with it... You know what? I admit.

I'm an idiot. You all want to scold me? Go ahead. I know I'm nothing.

N. You're right. I'm a pile of b******. I am. I know u didn't say that. I'm saying that about myself now.

You're not foolish. I am. I should never have wanted to overtake u.
I should NEVER have put such a high standard for myself..

All that would happen is that I would fail.

Why should I put myself there? I'm a f****** idiot.

I will not allow myself to hurt another person's feelings again.

Maybe I was right all along. I should not have existed.
All I do when I exist is to bring pain and suffering to the people around me...

If I'm not around, maybe they would be happier.

N,I know you would. I've just been a fool. A bastard. I'm a freaking overachieveing fool.

I should never have listened to you all talking about Maple.

It's all my fault. I should NEVER have went to download the game.
OR even to play it. I should Never have done so.

KW. You were right. There is NO future in playing this game.
I should never have started playing.

Nr, I'm sorry that I've imposed myself on you. my beliefs. I know you won't accept my apology, but I just want you to know...

I will always be happy, to know that I have done my best.

If you all don't see me again, that means I'm no longer of this world.

Please don't blame yourselves. It has always been my fault.

It's been happy knowing all of you.

Nr, I'm sorry I haven't been a friend to you, although you have always been trying to help me, even trying to go onto the same island as me to train with me.

If u were on the high perch as i thought u were, u would never have come.
You are my best friend on maple. I'm sorry.. I am the foolish one.

I should never have hurt your feelings.

Please forgive me. Please forgive me, so that when I'm gone, at least I know it.

I know you are a good person.

I am the evil one, the wicked one, the one who has been influenced by the Evil One.

I am evil. May the Lord forgive all my sins.

I acknowledge that I'm a sinner. May God forgive me.

Amen.

[end--0152am 5th Mar 2007]

Death.

2006-11-14T23:40:00.000+08:00

What is responsiblity?

Once again. I have lied.

What is going on, you may ask.

This:
Today, i was supposed to have a practical at 2.30pm.

What did I do?

I stayed at home, and when it was 1pm plus, I was still playing the piano.
For the whole time, from 1 - 4pm, I was at home, first practicing the piano, then using the laptop, surfing the internet.

Then I left home at 4 to reach school at 4. 40pm.

What i do next is not important.

When I reach home at 10.50pm, my parents asked me what happened, Why I never studied.

I told them just what I had typed down now.

My father reprimanded me, as can be expected, and gave me this grave and seriuos warning--

1]My parents will be approaching my teacher in charge to understand more about today
s situation.

2]Should my father hear of me not going for lessons for 1 more time, he will just disallow me from going to school. [Which essentially means that I will stop schooling. forever.]

Ok.This is serious.

I feel like I'm a crazy person...

I have no idea of how being shameful feels like, or how it feels to have responsibility.

I just feel so foolish.
I do things that at times when I'm not suppoesd to do,
just because I want to do it.

I just do what I feel like doing, but not what i should be doing.

And that I do things because that it would be able to make me feel good.

It seems so selfish, no?

I feel as tho it's like, in front of my friends, I am a person who at least like talks, responds, and all that.
But when I'm in front of my parents, I stutter, and I just can't speak, or have a normal conversation. It's just as tho I was forced to talk to a wall or something.

Everytime I talk to my parents, especially when they're reprimanding me and all that, I don't know what to tell them, and that I have to WILL myself to speak, to think of something to tell them.

Because it's like they ask me like : Why didn't you go lesson? What were you doing?

It's like, whenever I see my father, or more like, whenever he scolds me, and like wants a respond, I just seize up, and don't have answer at all.

The reason? At these times, my mind is really blank. I really don't know what to tell them. If I knew, I would have just told him. The thing is, I don't know.

I highly feel that perhaps, someday, I should go see a counsellor or something, maybe a psychiatrist. Just to see if I have anything wrong with my thinking, or if I have any mental problems or all that.

I mean, it's like, sometimes, whenever I am at low points in my life, they tend to persist, and I find that usually, it may last for one whole night, or sometimes, even days.

I don't know. It's just so... unexplainable.

I really do need help.

I mean, just to let you know, I have this extreme urge, like I have this feeling of wanting to cry. like I want to go take some poison or something. [No, I don't have one beside me.]

What i mean is, I just feel this depression-like feeling, a feeling of sadness. Strangely, even when I want to cry, I just can't. It's this strange thing.

As I said. I feel that somehow, getting help might be the best way.
I just at times, can't seem to control myself.
I don't know. I don't understand why I do all this. It's as tho I have been unconscious all this time, and that something else is controling me or something. Essentially, I feel like I've been letting myself do what my body feels like doing, and all I do, is to be "controlled" by my body, feelings, impulses...

If I could put down in words, what I feel now, I would. But I can't.
It's just this depressing feeling...

Alvin.

[End: 12.07mn GMT +0800]

Rushing.. Rushing...

2006-11-12T20:25:00.000+08:00

Weather: Sunny Morning, then Rainy
PSI:19
Listening: BBC World Service
Location: At Home

Now, I'm just trying to rush thru all my e-learning.

Well, It's been so long since I had the time to write anything...

Here is a little update for my "wonderful" [lol] e-learning week:

07/11-- Went to Sentosa with the Cursaders for a Ministry Outing. Was very fun!! Some of them went into the sea for a little dip, while I just stayed at the shelter for most of the time.. Then they went to play some beach volleyball.. I drew the boundary for them to play... haha...Soon, it was getting late... So, many of us went over to the public bathrooms, where we bathed [I had my first experience of how to bathe without a towel... Interesting!!] After the trip, we went over to Vivo City (A nearby shopping centre.) for dinner. I had some noodles, and was able to talk with Khalis, and Joel...

09/11-- Went back to school at around 4 plus to do my e-learning... Met Jason, Khalis, and Fiona at T15, where we all studied together.... [This also happens to be the 1st time that I actually studied there for e-learning..] After that, We went over to Vivo City to meet up with Jocelyn and another crusader. After meeting them, we had dinner with them at a food court. While we were eating, they talked about the Christian ship "Doulos", so we decided to go to see it. Before going to see it, I remembered that I had to go and buy my shampoo {I had lost it the week before..]

After that, We went to the 2nd floor of Vivo City to see it from a distance. It may be smaller than a normal luxury cruise ship, but it still quite large... It was about 400 meters in length, and quite high too, around a 3-4 storey building. Anyways, we soon decided it would be better for us to approach the ship itself for a closer look. We went forward and talked to one of the crew members, who was from India. He told us about the ship, and gave each of us some brochures about it. We decided to go onto it the very next day so that we could go for the "International Cafe", some kind of showcase of the ship, and it's ministry.

Ok. So today, I'll talk about these 2 days first. As for the 10th and 11th, I will leave it for another day.

Now, I have to continue my schoolwork, prepare for tomorrow's test, and also to go eat my dinner. Hope I have shared something interesting today.

I shall end this with this bible verse:

1Peter 1:22- Now that you have purified yourself by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart.

May we all be able to achieve this...

PS: I'm still trying to improve day by day. But I still have difficulties waking up.. Tonight, I shall try to sleep as early as I can, so as to help me better wake up. Hope I can succeed.

Pray for me. Thank you.

Serxerius [aka Alvin]

[End: 10.31pm GMT +800]

Reflections of A Troubled Heart

2006-11-02T09:23:00.000+08:00

Weather: Sunny Morning...
PSI: 35
Listening: Nothing
Location: RWP Lesson

I have a confession to make: I lied to all of you.

On the 31st of October, I DIDN'T attend the practical. I made it up.
Call it a guilty conscience, but I felt that it could not go on...

Why am I doing all this? Why?? After all that I did last Sem, hadn't I learn't anything??
This is just one of the things that has been troubling me:

Monday moring-- Skipped MorningTutorial lesson because I overslept.
Tuesday afternoon--Didn't go for tutorial because I was late
Wednesday--Skipped Morning's IDEAs lesson because I overslept.

I just don't understand!!!! This is just insane... I feel now as tho I have this huge burden, as this is not the first week.. Just observe::

I had missed 3 Tutorials [1st-2nd Wk, 4th Wk]
I had missed all 5 Practicals [Up till now..]
I had missed 3 IDEAs lessons [3rd-5th{this}Wk]

And this is the most absurd and crazy part of all-- I NEVER missed any of the Thursday or Friday lessons!?!?!

I can only come to one conclusion: I have been trying to avoid all these lessons for a reason.. The thing now is, WHY? why have I been avoiding them??

Oh God!! I feel so foolish.. What is the matter with me? Why the heck am I avoiding all these lessons??? If this does not change, I WILL FAIL!!!!

Whoever it was that sent me the comment on [3oth Oct]'s post, please leave me with a name. Perhaps you can pray for me or something...

I put up this plea to all that who are reading this--If you are someone close to me, who knows me, please approach me. I also hope that you may pray for me, and reply to my post.

I need help. I'm on the verge of hope now.. I feel so trapped and confused.

Thank you.

Serxerius [aka Alvin]

[End: 9.51 am GMT+0800]

Trick or treat! [2006] {Weird eh? LOL}

2006-10-31T22:40:00.000+08:00

Sunny in the morning, Rainy at night
PSI: 46+ [Start: 10.40pm]

No, I didn't go T&T-ing.. Come on... I don't even believe in H'ween..I just thought to make this post title interesting.. Since it's not every night that we get H'ween... right? [lol]

Today..Well, woke up at around 8.45am [Father woke me up...] However, since my lessons were later in the day, I had plenty of time to stay at home and slack...

So, after I done the usual eating and bathing, I went on to listen to this brilliant CD that i borrowed from the School library.... "A New World" by [Maksim]. For those who have yet to listen to any of his CDs, this is HIGHLY reccommended... He is a wonderful, brilliant piano player... I tell you, Once you've heard of his music, you'll want to listen to it over, and over, and over.... [You get the point]

Anyways, I also went about doing some spring cleaning on my laptop... Before I did it, there was A LOT of junk in my laptop.. Trust me on this... Whoever heard of a "My Documents" that was like 30 Gb worth of space?? Madness right?? I got so fed up, that I cleared out 20 Gb worth of unnecessary junk..

Once it was done, I felt a lot better... [at least I didn't have to deal with all that junk anymore..]

Soon enough, it was time for me to leave for school...

{oh yea, I almost forgot.}Last night, when I had just returned home, I found out that the main metal door to our home was stuck. When I tried to unlock it, I couldn't! The inside keyhole was at an unusual vertical position.. [Usually the keyhole was horizontal to allow the key to be removed, but last night was just unusual..] Anyway, in the end I had to enter from the back door.. [I live in a Semi-Detached House, a private property kinda thing, rather than a HDB flat.]

When my father returned this morning, he managed to dismantle the door, and found out the source of the problem.. Some parts of the lock were loose... His solution? He switched the front door lock and the back door lock, then tightened the [ex] front door lock so the same thing won't happen again..[I'm lucky to have a father who is a handyman... lol]

Ok, back to the story.. [lol]
I went to school just in time for my lessons, which for today's case, was a practical lesson...
[Due to me repeating a module of my course, it turns out that this semester, my whole timetable has become crazy, with weird gaps here and there..] Anyways, for today's practical, we had to do another titration...

To cut it short, my lesson ended at 5.30pm... Once done, I went straight to the Main school library, as I suddenly remembered that i was planning to borrow a DVD to watch: "Garfield & Friends".. This is one of the funnier cartoons that I watched... I remember reading it's comics as a kid, so now watching it as a cartoon, was just pure luxury... It is soooo funny!! [lol] I had just finished watching it... It is another reccommended borrow...

So, when at the library, I decided to call my DGL, Jason, [Discipleship Group Leader: something like a Cell Group Leader..] to see what he was doing.

As it turns out, he was about to go eat dinner with some of the other Crusaders {friends of ours from Crusade} When I heard that they were all going to eat, I decided to rush over and eat with them, since the place they were going to eat, was somewhere I had only heard them talk about before... It's name is: Botak John's [botak= bald, in malay]. It's a western food stall that sells very delicious Western food.. This i must praise.. Although it may come as a little pricey, but trust me, it's meals are really worth it..

Jason and another Crusader took the MRT [Monorail Transit System.. The train system I mentioned a few posts before] there, while Khalis and Fiona, fellow crusaders, took a bus with me to the closest bus stop to the MRT to meet up with Jason and "Auntie",the other Crusader [lol]...

Then, Botak John's was just walking distance from 'Clementi' station, so the 4 of us chatted while walking there....

Once there, we found a table, then sat down to order... While skimming thru the menu, I saw it was quite unique, as there were some jokes printed as footnotes under certain pages of it...

Basically, we had a filling meal, and it was quite memorable, as quite a few things happened...

Ah well, it sure was a great way to spend a night:: To spend it with fellow Christians!! I will cherish all the moments like this...

Peace out, and God Bless!!

Serxerius [aka Alvin.]
|=P |=P |XD |XD |=P |=P

[Endtime: 11.48pm, 31st Oct]
{Listening-- Ride of the Valkyries by Maksim}

Eve of H'ween. [Strange days...]

2006-10-30T23:16:00.000+08:00

Moderate weather, P.S.I- 50+
Rainy in the morning...

This morning, I woke up at around 8 plus, but then due to my [extremely bad habit---sloth..]
I continued to lay on my bed minutes after the alarm clock rang.

[Note to self--Kick you bad habits. Seriously..]

Sadly, I went on to sleep until I next woke up at 11.00am. By the time I left the house, it was almost 11.30am. [My lesson starts at 11am, ends at 12nn. Sigh... I seriously need help..]

Anyways, I went straight over to my Spreadsheets lessons, and clarified some doubts about spreadsheet [Excel] during the lessons... {We're having a test in 2 weeks' time.}

After lessons, I went over to my favourite spot.. Crusade Room!!! [Note-- No, this is not a club dedicated to the Crusades of the Middle Ages... It stands for "Campus Crusade for Christ." Yep.]

Anyways, I went there, and stayed for quite a while..

Ok. I shall end it here for today. [PS: My parents just arrived home... lol]

Peace out,

Serxerius.
[End: 12.36mn, 31st Oct]

Troubles?

2006-10-30T00:13:00.000+08:00

[Start: 12.13 am, 30/10]

Rainy

What has been on my mind?

Nothing much, I must say. It's just that I never thought about the things I did to people so seriously before.

Especially not before today.

Recap--

I went out with Mr U. again.
However, today, the person who was late was me.
I ate my lunch a little too late, thus delaying the time I left for our meeting place.
Coincidentally, We met at 'Somerset', the station after 'Orchard' on the Red line.

Well, anyway, I was so late that instead of arrivin at 4.30pm, I got there at almost 5.
[Note to self- I seriously need to be more time conscious.... sigh...]

So, I got a whole lot of scoldings from him, and in the end I had to apologise to him again and again...

After the whole lot of apologising, we went to the nearest "Mac/Apple" shop to go take a look at the products. It was quite interesting looking at all the iPods and iMacs...

We had stayed there for about half an hour. As I was feeling bored of staying at the same place, I told my friend that we should leave the shop. Thus, we walked out of the "Cine-leisure" Shopping Centre {Where the [Mac] Shop was}, and went over to "Heeren/HMV", to do some more shopping...

It was sort of interesting to have this shopping spree with my friend, as I usually did it by my friend. Thus, it can be said to be quite enjoyable and dun to have someone to talk to and just like see clothes and all that.

Soon,I started to hear my stomach growling, so we decided to grab a bite. We went over to this 'sort of' outdoor food outlet, called "Kopitiam" [Essentially, it means "Coffee Shop" in the Hockien Dialect].

We found a seat, ordered our food, and were starting to eat, when my friend realised something. He had forgot to mention to the chef that he didn't want chilli added to his food. He ended up needing to get a drink from the drinks stall nearby.

Halfway thru our [windy] meal, I started feeling tiny droplets of water falling onto my hands and body. I realised that it was starting to drizzle. The instant it dawned on me, I quickened my eating speed, and finished my food in no time.

My friend, however, couldn't catch up with my speed, due to the fact that he was eating a chilli laced food, and he wasn't used to eating things that spicy. As the rain steadily got bigger, we had no choice but to shift places. By that time, I had opened up my umbrella, but my friend didn't have one, so he rushed to the nearest shelter, which was something of a sheltered platform.

While my friend found a seat to eat at, I watched this group of youths practicing a dance routine... It was interesting, as I never really had the chance to really see people dance and all that.

Very soon, my friend finished his food, and we decided to leave that sheltered platform to go to somewhere more "cooling" [lol]. So, we went over to Cine-leisure [again], and went up to the [Mac] shop {again! lol}

We stayed there for quite a while, as me and my friend went around like learning how to use the iMacs by ourselves... As I had iTunes in my Laptop, it was a much easier job for me familiarise myself with the controls... However, it still felt weird as I was not used to the Mac OS.

My friend too had learnt something. He learnt that he could use the internet on Mac OS via Safari. It was quite interesting, as neither of us used the Mac OS.

As all things must come to an end, we soon had to leave the [Mac] Shop, as it was closing time!
[Sigh..]

My friend and I parted ways soon after, as I had to take a bus, while he, took the train home.

Thus here I am, now typing away, at the middle of the night.

Just before I leave, I've been thinking about something...

I've just had this online conversation with this other friend of mine, and I just suddenly thought about the topic of BGR [Boy-Girl Relationships]

Well, the thing is, I never really put much thought into this topic before, as dating was a thing that I never really like concerned myself to anyway. In my opinion, I think that it's just not really appropriate for us to find a "partner", or something like that, while we are still studying.

I'd very much rather devote my time onto studies, or more importantly, spend more time with God.

I feel that at times, I just feel as though I have lost touch with the world or something.. Thus like making me feel sort of alone... I don't know..

Many a times, I may just get bouts of sadness, and feel as tho there are things troubling me, as though my heart is just filled with unanswered questions, and all that.

Perhaps I just have avoided my problems and questions for too long.

Perhaps the best option, and most effective solution to my problems, is this::

That is, to FACE my problems HEAD ON. And also, [more importantly] to PRAY for God's help, in giving me the strength to face whatever obstacles that may lie ahead of me.

May this last sentence that I just said be a reminder and prayer for us all...

Peace Out,

Serxerius [ 01.27am end]

"You were meant for me"

2006-10-29T00:01:00.000+08:00

[Start time:12.01 am 29/10]
Rainy

This post is dedicated to my fren- The Unknown One.

Well, let's see.

For the past few days I've always intended to type something, but every time I sat down, I just didn't know what it was that I wanted to write.
So in the end, the day passed on without me writing anything...

But I have to say, that yesterday was really... eventful. I would say.

Let's talk about yesterday then--

Well, the lessons I had during friday were quite common...
The usual VB.Net [Visual Basic.Net] lessons...

Straight after that, I went to find my friends, whom 1 of them is, none other than, Mr Unknown.

Well, we met up, then my friends left, leaving me with Mr U.

We then had our meals together, and he talked about his project.

When I heard that he had finally completed his project, you could never know how happy I was for him. "Well", I said to him, "at least now it's over, you don't have to think about it anymore". He agreed with me.

After Lunch, he asked me what I would be doing, I just told him I'd be going over to the Esplanade area.[This was going to be a source of debate between the 2 of us later].

"Oh, So you're going to esplanade alone?"
"Yep."
"Ok. Cause actually, I have a friend who sms-ed me this morning, but I have yet to reply him.."
"Reply to him then..."

My friend proceeded to reply to his friend thru sms..

As all that was going on, we were walking towards the Train station, which was quite close, of course.

Upon reaching the train station, he went to make his phone call with his friend, while I went to top-up the value for my fare card. He then told me that his friend had told him that he would go over to the Orchard area. I said nothing.

We then went thru the train gantries, and boarded the train towards 'Pasir Ris'.

{Note: This train line [Green line] has 2 interchange stops, 'City Hall' & 'Raffles Place', where all the lines [Red & Green] intersected. Thus it was sort of a common stop for me and him, as 'Pasir Ris' was on the Green line, my stop was 'City Hall', and his was 'Orchard', which was on the Red line.}

On the train, we just chatted about like where we were going, and what we were going to do once we arrived. It was at this point when I committed, on hindsight, my worst mistake: I assumed that he knew that I was going alone. I also wrongly assumed that he would want to go the Esplanade with me.

When we reached 'City Hall' I then like sort of told him that I was going. He thought that it was like just a parting of ways, so he said bye.

Then I told him 'sarcastically' this:

"Nevermind, Nevermind, you can go to your friend. Since you want to go with him, then go.."
"What? What do you want?"
"Nothing.. Nothing. Since you want to go, then go... It's ok.."
"Eh.. Please understand, I have already promised him already..."
"Nevermind..."

Then I just walked away, thru the gantry at 'City Hall', and headed to Esplanade.

After that, I recieved a call from him:
"If I knew that you had wanted to go to Esplanade with me, I would have went with you.. but you didn't... So you can't blame me!"

I was like quite angry for him not understanding me at time, so I just like rebuked him..

Upon reaching Esplanade, I went over to the library.

As I was looking for books, I walked past the "Arts Cafe", and heard this song that I heard "You were meant for me" by Jewel.

I once heard it at the Cafe, sung by a wonderful lady, and this time, it was sung again! So i was so shocked that I just heard it again that I rushed to the cafe.

I just sat down to hear it.

It was wonderful.

Ok. [Sorry for sounding so rushed.. I have to do some changes to my site. Thanks. Bye]

Peace out.

Serxerius [29/10, 02.00am]

Hazy Days

2006-10-17T23:44:00.000+08:00

Well, another day has passed as I write this post.

Some of you must have wondered, why have i taken the luxury of posting this much recently? What has spurred me on all these writing sprees?

Perhaps it's just that the haze in these areas have driven me to just have this ranting review of life in this region.

NAH. That's not it.. I just felt that too often have i neglected the fact that even normal days have their eccentricities, but I've just not bothered to note them down.

So here I am, typing away on my Laptop at home... Contemplating.

Let's recap, shall we?

Today-- I went [again] to the JE Library for a little studying time...
Went up to the 4th Level Comics secion again>>

Today I took quite a few books to read. Namely::
Camelot 3000,
Lara Croft: Saga of Medusa Mask,
Sandman Vol3. [Yesterday I read Vol1.],
Jack Kirby: New Gods[Yesterday I read 4th World],
[and some other books that I just roughly skimmed through...]

Ok. It was only today that I discovered I had once borrowed Sandman [3] before. I can only assume I read it just out of curiosity the last time. This time, when I read it again, it was like reading it from a new perspective.

Never had I expected that this time, I would see so many new things about it. Now I know more of the context of the events. Whereas the last time I read it, it was more of a fun read.

This makes me want to get "Absolute Sandman" even more.

Okies, Digression again.

Soon afterwards, my [Old High School Senior] friend sms-ed me, asking me if I had time for dinner. I told him it was fine, then asked him for a location. He told me JP.
JP was fine with me. [ JP= Jurong Point].

On the way there, I walked pass this video store selling CDs. And they were showing clips of X3!!

Cool. So I stood there for a while to watch. I must say, it has whet my appetite. It's time I go to get it. [Note: Just one problem-- I'm a little short of cash these days. Due to my excessive spending habits. I'm lucky I didn't go bankrupt. Goodness knows what might happen If I did.]

Sigh. I shall have to [which I currently am doing] curb all excessive spendings.

Continuing on-- Reached JP to have dinner at Long John's [My friend arrived late, as per normal..] then we went home.

Yep. So here I am now.

Woah. I must have typed for almost an hour.. [Ha. This is THE side-effect of multi-tasking!]

Tomorrow is the day where my relatives from China go back.
I will miss them. They have given me so much inspiration... Although they're of my grandparent's generation, it seems as tho they are also much more approachable.

I guess it's because I don't meet them everyday, so I cherish them more.

Ah well, all good thing must come to an end, some day...

As must all posts. So, I bid you all, aideu.

Au revoir, Messrs et Ma'mes..

Peace out,

Serxerius. [18/10, 00.40mn, end.]

Sandy Times...

2006-10-16T23:36:00.000+08:00

Today, I've been to the library, during the little break I had between lessons...

My initial plans were just to get rid of some of the books I had borrowed, and get some that I needed to read.

I had 3 books on my "To-read" list.

However, by the time I reached the 4th Level, where the books on the list were, I found myself mysteriously attracted to the comics section..

[Note: This is not the first time... I tend to drag some time at the comics section for a while.. However, there was something new to it today....]

Usually, I would just spend some minutes drifting through some ridiculous books, and things like it... However, today was the unique.. I could feel it...

The moment I walked to the shelf, I felt attracted to a title.. and then, the instant my eyes laid eyes on it, I couldn't get them off.............

The book was "The Sandman".

Yes, Neil Gaiman....

No doubt some would have heard of it... For those who have not, have solace that you can find his titles easily....

The Sandman must have put a spell on me... Now I crave and desire for him.. To be him... To learn from him... His powers are wonderful... Much like the Endless.

I have fallen in love in his books...

Kudos to my newest obsession!!

PS: I also have to do a little update of my health:: This haze that is plaguing my side of Earth is getting worse... It peaked to PSI-130 today... It was terrible... So is my health...

My nose is now runny, much like a faucet with no closure, dripping, dripping... & my throat... I can feel pain.. soreness... Much like how anyone would feel in my state....

Sigh.. It's ok. I can stand it. These things are small compared to what Sandman has experienced... With his confinement, and destruction of his Kingdom....

It's ok...

I shall now rest well, knowing I have said what needs to be said.

May we all have a good night.

Blessed be, God Bless...

Peace out,

Serxerius. [11.51pm end]

Fowling around..

2006-10-16T00:36:00.000+08:00

Hi.

Long time no type. lolz.

How are you ppl? Good?

This is bizzare. Yep. It's been long. Lots have happened since I last had to type something.

However, today is totally just out of the blue. There have been many times the past September/October period that I wanted to type something...

In the end, nothing came out. Has to be my mind, I guess. It seized up when I had to type.

Just like... now. Lolz. Nah, no really.. Was just screwing around my mind..

Dear, dear... I digress..

I've been caught up with Fowl Fever... lol. So now, it's like I've been reading the Fowl books like mad.

This must be really the newest obsession of mine, I guess..

So, any Fowl-ers out there? Find me or comment if u are... lol

See ya ppl...

Blessed be. God Bless.

Peace out.

Serxerius. [12.57am end]

Time.

2006-09-12T22:50:00.000+08:00

Time. The constant of life. I can't think.

Sometimes people think that time flies, or crawls.

I think, it's just there.

A reminder of we live, we die. Nothing is as constant as time, other than change.

Too many things have taken place.

I should have taken a record, but I didn't. I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Were those things painful? Were they what had to happen? I don't know.

Whoever is out there reading this, be it friend or foe, will always be welcome.

Welcome to have their comments. I can no longer think that it's all that important.

Ok, perhaps I do care about what they say, but.. I....

I'm thinking.... Change. That is the way. Only thru it can I feel alive.

But, is life and time and change all that matters? When did my life just become for living?

Flamers, shooters, spammers, wars, bombs, planes.....

The world is now filled with lots of that.

However, I've always had a overwhelming belief and sense that there is a lot more than just that.

Is life just about Man, and what he does? There is more to it.

Look around us, Nature is around us. We can call it God, or an omnipresent being, or whatever our faiths may allow us to believe in.

The thing is, there is beauty in this world.

There are wars, and there are battles, but when they end, Nature takes over. Trees grow again, flowers bloom, grass grow, Nature comes back to bring things back into its embrace.

Life is more than the sum of its elements.

There may be sad things, but there are also happy things.

We should be more postive, and thing of the wonderful things in life...

Am I ranting? Raving? It does not matter. I'm merely observing the world.

The world can't be described all at once, but it does not stop me from trying to describe it.

I'm more than just a person, be it in whichever aspect of my life.

I know I can do more. I just have to let myself go.

To not worry, about what people say. Things come, things go.

I have to tell myself: I'm in control. I can do this.

Thru these motivations, I can be better.

Change. This is the way.

Next post coming shortly.

[23.11 (end),GMT +0800 Hrs]

Cosplay? or Cos-play?

2006-07-18T21:04:00.000+08:00

That has been something that has been going through my mind for the past 3 days.

Well... A lot of things have been happening around me. I don't really know what to expect anymore these days.

Firstly, I was accepted into an ANBU CP team. The next thing I know, I'm out of it. Sigh.
Was it meant to be that? I'll never know.

Sometimes, it just boils down to how you present yourself to people. Present yourself too much, and people think you're aloof. Present too many questions, people think that you're annoying and need spoonfeeding... Well, guess I still lack social skills..

Anyways, I have a hectic schedule up ahead.

19/07::

8am-12nn: Normal School.
1-2pm: Maths Test
3.15pm-??: CLS Day, [some sort of orientation-like thing]

20/07::

8am-3pm: Normal School.

21/07::

10am-12nn: Normal School.
4.15pm-5.15pm: Chemistry Test
7pm-10pm: Party!!

22/07::

7am-6pm: Community Involvment Programme [CIP... T_T]

23/07::

1pm-??: Photoshoot!! Fun!!

What am I to say for the next few days?
Will I go berserk or crazy, or mad?

Why would I be mad? Hrm...

Well, for one, I would be like thinking to myself: Why can't I just be more presentable?? Why must I just like go around offending those around me??

So they do feel annoyed, because they don't want someone who might 'hamper their progress with their inability to be independent.'

BAH... As If I'm NOT independent lor... I can THINK FOR MYSELF!! I DON'T NEED YOU ALL TO THINK FOR ME, OK??

If you don't want someone who is inquisitve, FINE!!

Just because I clarify things out does not mean I always need you all to help me. I just wanted all of us to DISCUSS as a group... Not just for me to ask questions. I was hoping to learn...

Aren't we all still learning from our mistakes?? That's what I'm doing!!

You were very harsh in your attitude lor.. Why can't you have been more understanding of how others felt? Instead of being so high up and like what, "flexing [your] authority as leader"??

You should learn from this as a fact that you think too much about just YOURSELF...

The team's opinion? No. I don't think that's the team's opinion at all. I was just being inquisitive. THAT'S ALL. Either accept it, or I have nothing to say.

Sigh. Some things, never change.
"The only thing that never ceases to change, is Change itself."

2 Days....

2006-07-12T00:50:00.000+08:00

I've decided to call this post as such, is due to what has happened....

For the past 2 days, I have played truant and did not attecnd 2 whole days of classes...

Now is my confession of what had happened and why i did not attend the lessons...

Day 1- [10/07] At around 12 midnight, i went down to the living room from my bed room to watch some TV in aniticpation of the Finals of the World Cup... In between, during advertisements, I came up to my room to do some forum chatting....

2am: I came back to the living room to watch the match...

2.45am: First half of the match /France 1:Italy 1 \I took a break to get a drink of water...

3am: The second half of the match began.. I was lying on my sofa watching, and as I slowly watched, I drifted off to sleep

6am: I just woke up to find that I had slept on the SOFA!! What did I do? I took all my stuff up into my room and went onto my bed to continue sleeping....

Pause here: Why did I do so? At that time, I guess I was overwhelmed by fatigue, and also, I thought that I needed more sleep, thus deciding to sleep more. Thus, under my sleep craving situation, I went on sleeping... [ignoring the fact that my grandparents tried to wake me..]

11am: Finally woke up from bed... Quickly got up and got all my stuff ready... Bathed for a quick while, then rushed [literally] out of home to catch a bus to school...

1pm: Caught the bus at 12.30nn,reached school at 1pm. Upon reaching the classroom, I found the electronic door locked. Under a fit of frustration, I just left the classroom block and went towards the library....

Then at the library, I went to borrow 2 DVDs to watch... [Both about The Matrix], and took it down to watch... watched all the way from 2pm or so, all the way to around 6pm...

While I was watching those DVDs, members of the 'buddy' class were streaming down to the Basement floor, and they saw me watching the show....They accompanied me for a while, until it was time for their lessons... [or so i think]

Pause again: Why did I not join them? Well, I have been thinking, but I think the main reason was because I was too engrossed in the show and didn't want to stop halfway...
Qn: Why can't I just leave the show? What was so important about the show?

Ans:I was too selfish.. I only thought of myself, that I wanted to watch the show...
What about the lesson? I didn't care about it...

On hindsight, I feel that I should have cared... But I didn't... That was really just too foolish of me...

Day 2- [11/07]

8am: Grandfather woke me up... I woke up and [tried to] get ready...

9am: While Grandfather was downstairs preparing breakfast, I went back onto the bed to rest for a while...

10.30am-11.15am: I've gotten up at around 10.30am, then went to bathe and reached the bus stop at 11.15am...

By the time I reached school, It was around11.45am already...I went to the food court to find my group members... Then went to the Basement of the Library to find them...

I could not find them, so I took some comic books and started to read them while waiting for the time to pass...

However, when it was around 1pm plus, I was still only halfway thru one of the books only. Thus, I decided to continue on reading....

Pause here: Why did I not go straight to lessons? Well, for one, I thought that I would not be able to make it, and I thought that I would be able to finish it fairly quickly...

From these 2 incidents, I have came to a conclusion... Never assume things would turn out the way you want them to... They never will.

I have learnt it the hard way...

I only decided to borrow the book when it was almost going to 2pm... Then after borrowing out the books, I went straight to the nearest Food Court [FC3] to eat...

After eating, I had a little stomach-ache, so I went to the toilet to relieve myself...
In the meantime, I continued to read the book. After some time, I started to feel lethargic, and [incredibly... ] I actually took a nap in the toilet... [Very disturbing act...]

When I woke up, it was around 2.30pm...I quickly cleaned up after myself and went back to the library...

Pause again: Why didn't I go outside my next lesson room to wait or something? It was a practical right?

Well, I once again wrongly assumed that I would be able to make it there in time, and thought that I should just take a break in the library first....

Evidently.... I shouldn't have done so... Seriously... I shouldn't....

Why? Well, I had ended up finding MORE books for myself to read, and just went on to drag the time...
Even more strange, was the fact that I had even photocopied 'Sudoku puzzles' from the newspaper to do. I had just thought of it as a way to pass the time...

Little did I know of what to expect....

At 12pm, my parents had just return from KL... Then my mother came straight up to my room.
She told me that she had heard from my form teacher about my truancy for the past 2 days and wanted to know what had happened and why i did not go for my lessons...

I told her everything thing that had happened...

And so, I have concluded this post with a message:

A note to self: Never assume things, Never play truant, and Never be self-centered and selfish...

OB? well... Day of Un-luck... Truly [Pt1]

2006-06-22T12:24:00.000+08:00

Well... Yesterday has truly been a day of unluck... But let me recap what has happened thus far...

2-3 weeks ago: My mom met with a car accident on the way back to S'pore from Msia... Fortunately, everyone on the car managed to survive the accident... However, My mom had broken 4 fingers in her left hand [the 4 other than the thumb]... By the time she got back to S'pore, the doctors initially said that all 4 fingers had to be cut off.... [ My mother herself told me later that all the bones could not be seen, meaning it sort of scattered by the impact of the crash or something]

However, when the resident professor came to see my mother's hand, he felt that he could save a few of her fingers... Thus, the doctors wheeled her into the O.R, and had an 8 hr operation, and managed to save 2 of her fingers [3rd and 4th]. My mother then stayed in the hospital for 1 week of observation..

After the week, she came back home to rest, but was scheduled to go to the hospital again... She needed to do a skin graft.

Last week: Mother went into the O.R again to have her skin graft.. Then she had another few days of obsearvation in the hospital... During this time, my father and I have been taking care of her, and even my father stayed back to take care of her...

This week: On Monday, she had another small operation [another skin graft] to mend the last section of unemnded skin.. Thus, we spent another few days, until yesterday, where we took care of her in the hospital while she was under observation.

I shall have to write another post... This will have to do, for now...

I can't think straight

Time has forsaken me and sped away...

2006-05-05T16:46:00.000+08:00

Sigh... I've been through too much to mention all in this small little space here..

Luckily, I have all the time in the world now, so i can do as much elaboration as i want... Lol...

Ok... I've been enrolled into this school [Singapore Polytechnic, which is to me like a big... YAY!!
I'm at least happy that I've gotten into my first chosen option... Then, there was the realisation that I couldn't get into Music Forest, although I got through the auditions... Another happy YAY!!

The reason? I didn't have enough money... Sigh... Guess I have to save up my own money then...
Another thing that I've been doing is this interesting "Da Vinci Code Quest". This leisure is proving to be mind boggling and the challenges are more and more fun, which most people who are doing it will empathise with... Lol

Oh.. yea... Regenesis is Back!! Yay!! I am so happy that I'm part of it again!! I've never seen myself so excited until I actually completed a mission without any outside help, but still [Thanks Canadianbabe!! ] These missions are not as interesting as the old ones, but they seemed more clear, and thus making us more aware of what to actually do and notice what the show has been about so far...

Another thing that has been using part of my time [tho this time is getting lesser and lesser]: Maple Story and Pangya!! Ok, so I may not be an expert in this games, but at least i enjoyed them and liked to relieve some stress thru it, though some of my friends have been saying that I seem to take this game too seriously, but the thing is that I've been used to have attetion to detail, so It's not that much of problem or big deal to me...

I've also been trying to occupy what little remaining time with some drawing lessons and stuff, so it should help me to calm my mind done... Most likely...

Oh... One last thing:I've gotten to listening to JJ Lin and the thing is that I've been listening to him ever since his third soundtrack. Ok, for those who know this, he came back to Singapore!! Yay!! I went to his JJ party and I've been hoping to be able to save up enough so I can go to his JJ concert [so far I have yet to save anything yet... Aw, well Gan batte!!]

This is just about everything new that I can add so far... Maybe if I think of more, I will add to let you all know...

God Bless and Blessed Be...

Happiness all around!! The Waiting Game...

2006-03-17T01:07:00.000+08:00

Time has passed around me quite quickly, but it's ok. Over the past week, I've learnt more about myself and what I am capable of, in many aspects of my life, and that it has been a quite enjoyable day for me too.

The week has passed by very quickly, as though not giving me a chance to breathe... However, I'm relieved that I've still had this chance to just calm down and think about how hectic life has been, reflect upon it, and perhaps improve on it... Hopefully, whatever I may have learnt may be helpful as some kind of life experience for me.

My life over the past week:
March 8th: Went to JEC and bought a newspaper there, which was where I saw the news that one of the Founders of Ocean Butterfly had died of a Heart Attack, which was quite shocking to some of his closest friends… I was also a little sad, as this was the company in which JJ Lin was from [Although it seemed as though there was no mention of it in JJ's website]

March 10th: Went straight to OBMF for the vocal audition. Upon reaching there, I discovered that my CD player had run out of power, so I couldn't do any last practices with the CD. I also had 2 mouth ulcers [one on each lip], so it was quite painful and uncomfortable for me. So, what I did was that I tried to recall the tune of the song, then practiced in my head. I also hummed the tune. Then, 10 minutes before my turn, I went into the toilet to refresh myself for the big moment when I was to go in. I then practiced in the toilet for a while {nobody else was inside anyway}, before it was my turn.

Then came my turn: I first gave a short introduction of myself, then started to sing. My singing was quite ok, except for a little part before the chorus which I noticed went a little off-tune[not sure if that was all tho… LOL].

Then the most interesting part: Today!!

I woke up at around 10am, then ate a little breakfast, then after a while, bathed. It was then time for me to go JE library to meet my friend. I reached there at around 4.30pm. He told me he wanted to use my laptop for a while, which I gladly did, provided he did not corrupt my data [lol]. We then went to eat dinner at around 7pm, at Long John Silver. After he had finished his lunch, my friend left as he told me he had something on tomorrow, so I stayed there to do a little wireless net-surfing and MSN chatting, before leaving at around 10pm.

So, here I am now, happy typing away about how my life has been. The fact is, life is usually what we make of it, and how we want it to be. So, if we want it to be dull, it will be, but if we want it to be interesting, then we have to work towards it, rather than just thinking about it.

That’s why I like this quote from “The Vanished Man” [by Jeffery Deaver]
"Everything in the past is memory, everything in the future is imagination…"

The fastest and longest period of Nothingness

2006-03-04T21:24:00.000+08:00

Since when have I ever tried to do a blog, I can’t remember. As always, there always seems to be no time for me to have the chance to actually sit down and write down whatever that has been happening in the course of my life...
Thus, for the last 2 periods of time, I have had to accumulate whatever that has happened into long sketches of ridiculous timetables:

10th Feb: My GCE “O” Level results were released.
11th Feb: Went to SP to see what courses I should take for the JAE.
13th Feb: Went there again with my aunt, who helped me by recommending what course to take. Then, I went to NP to choose the courses there. Lastly, went to my other aunt’s house to input my choices for the JAE.
17th Feb: Got JJ Lin’s new album “曹操” It was a wonderful album
26th Feb: Went to Joshua Ang’s Birthday party and surprised Shawn [He had no idea that I got selected to go...] and I dedicated “曹操” (the song) to both of them. It was quite a strange experience.
3rd Mar: My posting results of the JAE came out… And I got into SP’s Chem. Process Tech!!! Ok, I initially had a preference to NP, but in the end, I felt that since I got chosen to go there, I might as well make the best out of it...

To further elaborate, the thing is that sometimes, what you think might happen actually never happens, and something that was totally [if not, partially] unexpected happens instead… That is when I get some shocks in my life, but these shocks usually just happen in the initial phase, and after that, it is no longer such a shock, but rather a fact of life, so I just deal with it and move on.

It may seem as though there is a gap of time between my previous post and what happens now, but you should know that human memory does not always remember what we do, so we usually need to have a written record of whatever we do [well, maybe not always, but most of the time…] So please forgive me for not being able to remember what actually has happened...

As I wrote the few paragraphs above this afternoon, while offline, I feel that I left some things unsaid: I feel so sorry to all whom I may have offended before, and hope that all of you will forgive me and my strange behaviour. And I was wondering if there is any way the people who are reading this now, to feedback to me how you feel my posts have been, so as to give me an opportunity to change.. I will be writing another post later, so watch this space...

Ok? Thanks... If only I knew who was reading my blog.. Haha.. I may never know...

Year's almost ending...

2005-12-18T19:10:00.000+08:00

OK.. so I have been very irregular in my blog writing...fine...
Sorry PPL!!!

A list of things that happened:
Nov 14: HP&GOF Local gala premiere
Nov 16: Went to watch GOF at cineleisure
Nov 18: First saw Maple Story [Fun game, but mine met with some problems now. So, I can't play now..
Nov 22:Closing date of the MTV Asia HP&GOF contest..
Dec 01: Went to Prom night!!
Dec 02 onwards: Went to do window shopping almost everyday at Orchard area,
and to try to find a job!!
Dec 14:Saw a huge crowd of people at Heerens HMV Orchard, waiting for the Korean Star in "The Promise", a Chinese show.
Dec 17:Went to see a Narnia exhibition in town area, then had Christmas in the Park!

So u may say this is quite an empty list, but the truth is I don't remember what happened after Nov 22nd, all the way to Dec 01.. so I"m sorry

I shall talk about yesterday, then today...
The Narnia thing is a new experience to me as I've never been to such an intresting "show", with all the live characters and props! Brilliant show that I will [and have] introduced to other people to go and watch too..

I think that I should leave the Christmas in the Park unspoken, and lets just say it's a Christmas celebration with the neighbouring community by my church and it was good..

Ok.. I suddenly feel that this is a very long "storytelling" time, so I'll speed up..
Today I went to church, then had Cell-Group, ate lunch with the CG people, then left for home and am writing this now..

I just felt as tho that this year has passed too quickly and I hoped to just write something from my long, long hiatus..

BTW, so sorry for disappointing all of u people, but I was not able to win any HP&GOF contests as of now... and I am very disappointed myself too.. I have also recently found a vacancy at Toys R Us in town..

I just hope that everything will be ok from now on..

Next aims: Waiting for the reply so I can start work at my "workplace" soon..

Wish me luck!!

Disappointment of the past, elation for the present, joyous anticipation for the future!!

2005-11-07T17:09:00.000+08:00

Today is the 3rd day of the 'O's...
[Maths paper 1, and Social studies paper]

A lot of things have happened between my previous post and now.. I found the harry potter contest I was looking for!! [Totally out of chance, for if I had not seen it in the side thumbnails, I would have never gotten the chance to join.] And I had joined it.. Halloween came and passed without much occasion, and most of my time was spent preparing for my social studies paper and thinking about the competition...

I spent most of my free time thinking either about the competition that i joined, and about Daniel [DR]... The final challenge of the contest was supposed to be that the finalists get to do a waltz in front of a panel of judges on the gala permiere night itself [14th Nov]. The winner will get a trip to go the Leavesden studios' "Great Hall" set and dine there..[the trip is from 9th to 12th Dec]..

The annoucement of the results {over the radio} was supposed to be today, but it seems as tho it has not happened yet.. still, I keep my fingers crossed as I really hope to be able to be one of the finalists!!

Anyway, winners will be notified by email or post or phone, so I keep my fingers crossed, and hope for the best for me!!!

Best of luck... bye....zzzz

2nd day of "O"s

2005-10-27T18:44:00.000+08:00

To me, days pass very quickly... just 2 days ago, I was at my blog writing about Dan..

Today, I have more news to break to you guys [and gals]... I have lost almost all hope in finding the harry potter gala premiere contests... I have searched high and low thru many websites and found nothing.. for those of you who don't know what i'm talking about, read my previous post

It still seems quite frustrating for me to find nothing about Daniel Radcliffe or the websites I once knew.. this is just so frustrating that I have nothing to say anymore..

OK.. kidding.. It's just that it's very extremely weird when i really hope to meet a person, that ridiculously the chances are nowhere near to be found, and when u thought u had the chance, it's no longer there...

That is why I'm taking the initiative to find out more stuff from now on when I'm free from all this crazy O level stuff...

PS: Does anyone know if Daniel has to take O level?? [ just a thought]Thanks

bye again..

Daniel Radcliffe!! AH!!!

2005-10-25T15:50:00.000+08:00

Ok.. I'll first start with something irrelevant..

Today is the first day of my exams... GCSE "O" levels.. if you must know..
and today is the Chemistry practical..[not that i particularly enjoyed it, but I did quite ok..]

2] I've recently moved over to my grand-parent's house, and it's quite a nice house {especially since my parents recently got it renovated..} so it's brilliant now..

So.. I come to my main point: Daniel Radcliffe!!! AHHHH!!!

2 days ago, I was talking to my best friend when he actually informed me about the new HP movie [HP&GOF].. and so I asked him about when the show was coming out..
[for the uninitated, it's Nov 18th {our "O"s too: Chemistry}]

And that was that... then came the shocking news.. he told me HBO was having this competition in which the lucky winner would actually be able to go to the premiere of the show in [New York?? I'm not sure..] That was when i got a shock!! This was the one chance that I had been waiting for so long!!!

What am I to say.. this could actually be the chance where I get to meet Daniel Radcliffe himself in the person.. which is evidently quite amazing.. if you live like [thousands of miles away from UK..]

For those who know me and are reading this, please do not think of me the wrong way..
I like him so much for he is a brilliant actor[ to be frank, I've never seen a more natural child actor anywhere else in the world!!] I digress.. I really do enjoy watching the show, and from one actor to another, I know good talent when I see it.. And the opportunity to meet him is wonderful, as I could ask him all about how he acts, the problems he face, the difficulties, and how he copes with school and work ..... [ the list goes on..] I can't even begin to fanthom what i will ask him.

To sum this up, I feel that this is really something that I have to get off my chest before i go crazy thinking about him day and night..

Ciaozzz..... Au revoir.....

In Memorium...

2005-09-23T16:38:00.000+08:00

No.. Just kidding... I couldn't stand the fact that I have been blogging for so long, and yet, all of a sudden I have a huge Hiatus.. this has been so long...

To tell you the truth, my exams are about to arrive in just a month or so.. So now is an extremely crucial time for me, as I have been failing since just about the end of last year..

Just yesterday, I had just given the prelims I've had a lot of thought, and it's been a horrible time... So I feel extremely miserable about it... Totally..

And today, I just had a chat with my school councillor/ teacher... I was worried I couldn't do well [for my prelims] And that in the end, we decided for me to have a timetable [set by myself] all the way to my exams..

Then, my english HOD met me, and told me i had to stay back everyday until the time of my exams..and I do feel that I deserve it... So there's no arguement there...

I won't be posting for a while again... and this is in advance..

Goodbye!

Time is really fast..

2005-05-26T16:27:00.000+08:00

I cannot believe that i'm still typing my own blog!!! I should be studying!! i'm driving myself crazy.. with this crazy secondary 1 boy beside me, trotting over everyone as though he is the king of the block...

anyway, i was drifting off... i still cannot believe it!!! In a few more days, i will have to take a very important exam, and then.. i will have loads of holiday homework to do, and with an intensive study session coming up, i'm going to go crazy...

I'll soon be facing a totally new phase of life soon, so the only thing that i can think of now... is gan batte[work hard!!]

Hope i make it...*over and out*

OMG!!

2005-05-15T03:06:00.000+08:00

Ok ok.. i know all of you will wonder why i'm still typing at this late...

well... i'm now under a catonic trance, and it is not me typing, but my alter ego Oro typing....

BTC: I'm now in a semi consious state now, so if i appear to be ranting, it is just an illusion
Well.. today, i went out for chinese tution, had lunch with aunts before the tution, then once i came back from the tution, drove myself crazy by diving into cyberspace and getting stuck in this blog...

Ok.. to tell the truth.. i got stuck in SGCafe... had to reply to something, and to make myself useful....
[hope i did , taka and steph!!]

I have not been updating this thing due to my blasted computer not working, and me having to resort to begging to get it repaired.. als odue to me having my exams, and getting to busy, i'm going to go crazy..

I'm running out of $$ but i need $$ to cosplay.... so i need to beg again.... pity....
Overly tired.... Over and out....*zzzzzzzzz*

The day my old self died..

2005-04-12T17:31:00.001+08:00

To begin, i'll just say that these few days have been hectic... I couldn't use my home's internet connection, then I have loads of homework to catch up.... Well... it's really stressful at my level of education....[espcially the 'O' level...]

Some of you reading may tell me that I'm not supposed to even be typing this, but i just feel that i need some time to myself.. to express my own feelings, otherwise they may burst my head one day....

well.. I just hope that I'll be able to complete the loads of home work I have, like A.maths, E.maths, Literature...... [the list goes on]

Oh well.. ganbatte* to me.... [*work hard]

I can do it!! [ i feel so stressed..]

cosplay thoughts

2005-04-07T15:17:00.000+08:00

Today, i was thinking about how little i've learnt about cosplay... I know that this may sound like i'm ranting...

well.. so far.. i've met Hisoka, and that was a wonderful meeting..[though i hoped that we could have talked longer..] and she dispelled many of the doubts i had about cosplaying..

well, in case Steph and Takahan are reading this, i've JUST recently heard about cosplaying, and i already have a unsatiable interest in Cosplaying already!!
[Hs told me that takahan would be happy....]

I hope you are, Takahan!!!

unlucky??[no lah..]

2005-04-04T19:04:00.000+08:00

Ha ha... sorry for not adding a new post!

anyway.. today had to stay back at school to do EL assignment..[felt so bored!]

Now: browsing through the internet and slacking..
SG Anime rulz!I'm adding blogs to it! YAY!
[using aunt's com..my home's com spoilt liao...]

Still have to do homework later...
so bored...

My first post!

2005-03-30T08:05:00.000+08:00

well.. this is my first time EVER doing anything like this, so i'll just say:
HI!!!! [lol]

As an intro, I've recently been interested in cosplaying, and so am new to many things.. However, I am also an avid fan of Naruto.. and my Fave character is......Sasuke!!!
I also like Charmed, CSI, and many other shows...

Well.... this ends for today!
Hope you liked it!! :)