I'm going in....--.--

Ok. I'm still in shock. I know I shouldn't be in shock, but I am.

The long and short of this, is that I'm going to be in Army in a months time.

The date? 14th June this year.

How did I find out? I've just gone to the NS site to check out the information regarding my enlistment....

Hrm.. Now about the shock part. Why am I in shock?
Many people would probably have presumed that I had recieved the letter a long time ago.

The answer is, No. I didn't recieve any freaking letter for the past 2 months. I had no idea that I was going to go in at June. If I didn't recieve the letter, I'd probably have died or something as the day approached without me realising.

What am I to say now?
Frankly speaking, the emotions I'm feeling now are nothing like those that I've felt when I've just recieved the news about me being removed from SP.

This time, it's much worse than that. Much much worse.
Imagine dropping down a pit with a 50kg stone tied to both your hands and legs. Then imagine that the pit is filled with quicksand.

Yep.

That's how I feel now. Just beind helpless as you get sucked into some vortex of sinking fear in which you know that you cannot escape from because nothing you do will change it.

Well, there's only one thing that I can think of doing right now. Although that would require me to use up every inch of time I have left to doing, it seems to be the only course of action I can take as of this moment...

The only thing I can do right now, is to just--------
Freaking train myself up. Go to whatever gym or anything that you can find, and just go there for every remaining day of this month to train.

Thats all that I can think of about posting.

I have no idea what else I can do right now. I feel so suffocated an knocked back by this news that I don't even know how else I can tell my parents about it.
Or anyone.

For some of you who still have no idea what I'm talking about despite reading all the way down to this line...

Let's just put it simply..

I will be enlisted into the military on 14th of June this Year, and I have just discovered it today, whilst checking my inbox about news and other information. I just had the sense of mind to actually go to the Enlistments website today..

I just have one question in my mind right now.

Why have I not recieved the letter informing me about the enlistment? Why did I have to not find the letter at all? Where did the letter go? Did someone take the letter from the letterbox and conviniently not informed me about it? Did someone just take it away from me without letting me know at all?

Ok. That's like 5 questions, but I do not care. That's not the point.

The long and short of it is this---
I have only one course of action that I can do, and I HAVE TO follow through it. Whatever it takes.

My whole being is just being suffocated by this news. I can no longer think properly.
Just reeling from the shock is taking my whole concentration.

Alvin finishing off.
Time-- 19:48 , 13th May 2008, Tuesday. [GMT +0800]