--7th March--

Start: 7th March, 2307[+0800 GMT]

I recieved bad news.
Actually, this bad news, i found out in my inbox last night.

I have failed most of my modules.
Thus, I don't think I can continue to study any more.

After I recieved that message, I just didn't know how to reply.

Anyways, today, after I woke up for a while, I went over to school to ask some of my lecturers for help.

One of my lecturers suggested that I should write an appeal letter, so that I can continue studying.

At 6 plus, I left school, as I had to meet a friend of mine at JE train station.

Once we reached, the first thing we did was to go to the nearby library.

Well, ok, so I didn't tell my friend that we were going there, but still, I did have something I had to check at the library.

Once at the library, we sat down at the cafe beside it to cool down. I got a drink from the cafe, and also powered up my laptop. We sat there for a while, chatting about stuff, while I tried to connect to the internet.

When I could not connect to the internet, I called my mum, and she told me she could not help me.

Then, my friend told me that he wanted to go to the nearby shopping centre. Since I just wanted to have somewhere to walk around, I followed with his idea.

We did some window-shopping around the whole place, we sat down in a Macdonalds to eat.

While eating, I tried to connect to the local wireless network there.
Finally there was a network!!

When I got a network, I went to do what I had planned to do. While chatting with my friend, I went over to my email inbox, and forwarded my results to my aunt to inform her about how I did.

After the meal, my friend and I chatted for a while, then we went our separate ways.

I don't know how I'm going to break this news to the people closest to me. I really don't.
I'm afraid that they might just react negatively or something.

Hope all goes well.

Peace out,

Alvin.

Untitled

Start: 0126am 5th Mar 2007 [+0800 GMT]

I've just had the worst arguement with my friend.
Goodness... I don't even know how I'm supposed to start..

It's just... I've just.. Broken my friendship tonight
Just like that. It was not a one night thing, but tonight was the last straw...
The last thing that finally snapped the rope.

N, If you're out there, I know you will never forgive me for this, but.. I'm sorry.
I know you said that there will be no more apologies, no more turning back of the clocks,
And that "Out of sight, Out of mind"...

Oh my goodness... What have I done. What have I done.... I've just fought with my best friend.
Why? because of a game.

Lately, I've been into this game, Maple Story, and that I've been playing it.
So, ok. This was not the first time i've played it, but It's been a while..

For all this while.. I can truly say this--- I've been blinded..

Blinded by what? The game. I've just been thinking about being on par with my friend, so that I can join in...

But you know what? I've been a selfish fool who just thinks about my own self gain. A fool who thinks that he can get whatever he wants... And get away with it... You know what? I admit.

I'm an idiot. You all want to scold me? Go ahead. I know I'm nothing.

N. You're right. I'm a pile of b******. I am. I know u didn't say that. I'm saying that about myself now.

You're not foolish. I am. I should never have wanted to overtake u.
I should NEVER have put such a high standard for myself..

All that would happen is that I would fail.

Why should I put myself there? I'm a f****** idiot.

I will not allow myself to hurt another person's feelings again.

Maybe I was right all along. I should not have existed.
All I do when I exist is to bring pain and suffering to the people around me...

If I'm not around, maybe they would be happier.

N,I know you would. I've just been a fool. A bastard. I'm a freaking overachieveing fool.

I should never have listened to you all talking about Maple.

It's all my fault. I should NEVER have went to download the game.
OR even to play it. I should Never have done so.

KW. You were right. There is NO future in playing this game.
I should never have started playing.

Nr, I'm sorry that I've imposed myself on you. my beliefs. I know you won't accept my apology, but I just want you to know...

I will always be happy, to know that I have done my best.

If you all don't see me again, that means I'm no longer of this world.

Please don't blame yourselves. It has always been my fault.

It's been happy knowing all of you.

Nr, I'm sorry I haven't been a friend to you, although you have always been trying to help me, even trying to go onto the same island as me to train with me.

If u were on the high perch as i thought u were, u would never have come.
You are my best friend on maple. I'm sorry.. I am the foolish one.

I should never have hurt your feelings.

Please forgive me. Please forgive me, so that when I'm gone, at least I know it.

I know you are a good person.

I am the evil one, the wicked one, the one who has been influenced by the Evil One.

I am evil. May the Lord forgive all my sins.

I acknowledge that I'm a sinner. May God forgive me.

Amen.

[end--0152am 5th Mar 2007]